Dog-Gone It!

Today is New years Eve. Since I had awakened early and planned to stay up till midnight to see the New Year in, I had hoped for a little nap. My kids cooperated giving me space and relative quiet on the couch. Unfortunately COby, our CHocolate Lab, had other ideas. He wanted to play.

I kept getting toys shoved into me from his balls to other chew toys. I was expected to toss them so he could fetch them so I could toss them again. I told him to go away. He did. For about five minutes and then he was back.

Well, after awhile it was quiet but I had a queer feeling so I peeked out from under my lashes.....and saw a pair of brown eyes staring me down. His head was perched next to me on the sofa looking right at me. He realized I was watching and started inching closer to my face. "Dog! So help me, you better not be thinkinb' on kissin' me!"

I closed my eyes and settled back for some Zzzz's and was almost in dreamland floating on a cloud when my chin suddenly got wet....not just wet but slurped! I jumped up, "DOG!" He hightales it for his crate...preferrably the back where I can't reach him.

Decided to just get up and get things up but I swear I could almost read the dog's mind......Sounded a lot like, "Mission accomplished!"

GONE in a wag of a tail

Item: Half of a peanut butter sandwich


Suspect: Brown chocolate lab cowering in the back of his crate


Every morning my kids have peanut butter toast. This morning I made one for my eight year old and my four year old and laid them on the counter in front of the toaster. My thirteen year old had already had hers next to a drooling chocolate lab licking his chops hungrily and left for school. My eight year old son devoured his before leaving for school as well. Then my four year old daughter went to retrieve hers. "Mommy, where is it?"


"On the counter."


"No, it's not"


"Yes, it is."


My husband, who was out in the kitchen getting his morning dose of caffeine chimed in, "It's not here, hon."


I was watching a news segment on television, "Of course it's there. I left it in front of the toaster."


"Not there anymore."


"Well, what could have hap-" I took one look at the dog, "COBY!" Tail between his legs he hightails it to his crate and cowers in the back of it. Aha!


Our last dog, a dalmatian, had been an outside dog. When we chose to have an inside dog, we had no idea some of the things that would entail. We have a cart to set our microwave on and the bottom shelf underneath has a rolling door and we kept bread in there. Sometimes we would neglect to pull the door shut but it did not seem to be a problem till a month ago. I walked out there to find bags to three loaves on the floor...the bread gone...... the dog cowering in the back of his cage. He knew. Oh, my and how that bread affected his digestive system! The house was permeated with odors nto wished on my worst enemy! I never knew a dog could do that till we had Coby. Now we try to keep bread away from him but he will choose any chance he can get to steal it, even if it's from my four year old's hands. He gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Gas Hog".