Who is driving your car?

It was grocery day and I had stopped at a local market to pick up a few items. When I returned to my van I discovered that somebody had parked in the parking space behind my car's space. The problem was they were literally against my bumper. There was no way I could get my groceries into the hatch compartment. I decided to check for damages, unbelieving that someone would actually let their car parked like that. I pulled the van front a few feet and hurried back to inspect the bumper. When I turned to view their car, I burst into laughter. On their front bumper was the plate, "God is my Pilot."

Laughing I left the following note on their windshield, "If God is your pilot will you please ask Him to stop next time before he hits my car?"

Busted!

Norm was helping at the middle school to set up for our church's Easter service and they were getting late so the Worship Leader decided to order supper. Norm called me to please bring him his med he needs to eat with supper so, being the "complient" wife that I am (Norm, please stop fake choking), I immediately dropped what I was doing to take care of his needs. I put the pill inside a snack baggie and headed for the school. We got out of the van and went to cross the traffic circle when here comes this police cruiser and he stops at the entrance to the traffic circle and studies me hard. That was when it hit me. I am a school employee entering a school building.....holding a baggie with drugs in it! With a face red enough to rival a cherry tomato, I flew into the building and eagerly handed over his medication. When he inquired as to why I was laughing, I explained, rather embarressed. Norm had a pretty good laugh over that one.

Lexi's Loves

Lexi came home shortly after kindergarten started and announced she has three loves. Unsure exactly what she meant I asked her to clarify this.......I was right, she meant boyfriends although she told me in her matter of fact way that they were boys she loved. Uh huh...... you're only in kindergarten. I don't know where she gets it because I wasn't that way....... or at least my crushes were one at a time but I guess she is keeping her options open.

Well, she came home about a month ago and announced she was down to two loves because the one boy said mean things so she no longer loved him. What's funny is she seems to have this rivalry with him now. She wanted us to take her to school early because he normally beats her there and that must have bugged her. We once got to the school and were ready to turn onto the parent drop-off and she disgustingly said, "Ugh! There's his bus!" Norm laughed and said, "Well, I guess he beat you today." She rolled her eyes. She's only six but acts like a teenager!

She made out well with her other two loves on Valentine's Day. They each gave her a special treat including a big choclate Hershey bar. I like that boy! He knows chocolate is the key to a woman's heart! He's a keeper, Lexi!

Tech support and Telemarketers

If there is one thing that annoys me is being on the phone for either tech support or telemarketers. I hate I when I have to try to get to a live voice and you keep getting one menu after another.

The other day I had to call our Internet company and got placed on hold with the most monotonous music playing in the background. I was fighting to keep from nodding off when I realized that companies probably give you this sleep-inducing music hoping you will fall asleep so they don't have to help you....... either that or it's to calm an irate customer down. Either way, it works. The music was boring me to tears.

Another thing is telemarketers. Thank God for the "Do Not Call" List because I don't really have to deal with them much anymore but once I had AT&T call me trying to sell me their plan. The whole ridiculous part of it was the whole time she was talking to me, I could barely hear her and kept having to ask her to repeat herself. Finally, in total aggravation, I told her, "Look! I can't hear you now! What do you think that tells me about your service?!"

There have been interesting calls, however. Once I called a tech support for our printer and the agent and I got to discussing our weather and I noticed he had an accent so I asked him where he was calling from. When he told me India, I was astounded....to actually be holding a conversation with someone from so far away. I thought it was kind of cool, in a way.

This past year we received telephone call about the election. The call was for then candidate Obama. Norm actually got the call and put him on speaker phone for kicks. We were there rolling our eyes at all his promises when he got to the end where it says how the ad was endorsed by him but there was a problem with the tape and it went super fast making his voice go really high. Norm and I burst out in laughter.

The phone can be a good tool but give me email any day!

Doggie Diet

Shortly before Christmas we had taken our chocolate lab, Coby, to the vet for his vaccinations. The vet took one look at his weight of 97 pounds and declared the dog had needed a diet.

No more grazing at his food bowl! No more tidbits being shared under the table. He was to get a ration of one cup of food two to three times a day. They asked how much exercise he got and we told them not much. The kids could not handle him on the leash and I was incapacitated due to a serious illness. I had taken him over the summer before the illness but was forced to stop it.

And I had to admit we were slightly proud of our Newfoundland size dog who was too scared to go down the basement steps, but we listened for the dog's health. The first time I fed him, he didn't touch it thinking he had all day to eat it. He learned when I removed it an hour later that he better learn to eat when served oe he misses out. It has reaped some rewards..... like a lot less acid reflux which was simply gross to clean up. Hopefully when I am cleared from my illness, I can start walking him again. We both need the weight loss!